apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
