I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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