I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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