Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
