I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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