I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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