Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
