she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
