is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
