your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize