Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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