bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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