Sry I called you an 8
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
