I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
