everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
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I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
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She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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