You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
