I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
