I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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