dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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