There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
