just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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