One girl and one boy is just not enough.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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