he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
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I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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