my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
