he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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