it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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