My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
