i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
