i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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