Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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