It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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