I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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