That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
