Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
