haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
