if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
