Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
should my penis look like a turkey
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
