bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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