She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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