I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
