I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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