we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
