I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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