Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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