I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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