wat bout pragnant strippers??
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
