I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
