Can Purell be used as lube?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
