I bet he comes in French.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
