My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
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Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
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It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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