so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
