You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
