And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
