Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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