The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize