Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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