can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
BRING THE BAGELS
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
